Pacific Rim - Script Review

Short Review: Paying homage to the Japanese 'Giant Monster vs. Giant Robots' Genre (Wiki: Kaiju) Guillermo del Toro not only takes over the insane fights, but also the flat characterization and linear plots. Unfortunately, the script uses every known cliche available and thus fails to connect with the audience.

Plot: When legions of monstrous creatures, known as Kaiju, started rising from the sea, a war began that would take millions of lives and consume humanity’s resources for years on end. To combat the giant Kaiju, a special type of weapon was devised: massive robots, called Jaegers, which are controlled simultaneously by two pilots whose minds are locked in a neural bridge. But even the Jaegers are proving nearly defenseless in the face of the relentless Kaiju. On the verge of defeat, the forces defending mankind have no choice but to turn to two unlikely heroes - a washed up former pilot (IMDb: Charlie Hunnam) and an untested trainee (IMDb: Rinko Kikuchi) - who are teamed to drive a legendary but seemingly obsolete Jaeger from the past. Together, they stand as mankind’s last hope against the mounting apocalypse. (Official Plot Synopsis by Warner Bros.)

How does it end?
(BEWARE: SPOILERS!)  The B-Story delivers - without making any effort to feel organically to the story - the solution to the problem, when a young scientist discovers that a nuclear bomb will close the rift between the universes. But someone has to bring the bomb to the other side and set it off. This isn't exactly a new idea (especially now that everybody and their mother has seen 'The Avengers', which used the exact same idea recently). Of course, our unlikely heroes have to go into the 'Pacific Rim' and set off the bomb, fighting of giant monsters on their way. But in the end they succed, close the rift and return home.

Guillermo del Toro

Project: Originally, del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy 1 + 2) was set to direct an adaptation of 'At the Mountains of Madness', however, after Universal closed down the project, he switched his attention to 'Pacific Rim'. Originally, Tom Cruise, who was going the play the lead role in 'At the Mountains of Madness', was going to star in the film, but he was replaced by Idris Elba. Ron Perlman, who has worked with del Toro on several occasions, was confirmed to have joined the cast on November 17, 2011. Industrial Light and Magic was chosen to do the visual effects for 'Pacific Rim'. Guillermo del Toro hired Oscar winners John Knoll and Hal T. Hickel, both known for their work on the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' films. Legacy Effects was hired to do the special and practical effects on the film. Shane Mahan, known for creating the armoured suits for 'Iron Man' was hired on as effects supervisor. John Rosengrant was also brought in for his work on 'Real Steel'. Oscar winner Clay Pinney, known for his work on 'Independence Day' and 'Star Trek', was also brought on board. (Source: Wikipedia)

Screenplay Structure: Travis Beacham's 'Killing on Carnival Row' (Read my review) was a fantastical ride into a bizarre and dangerous world. His words made this unique world come alive. Sadly, not much of this brilliance comes to play in this by-the-numbers script.
But the screenplay follows a clear-cut structure, which I will demonstrate for the first half of the screenplay.
In quick succesion we meet: 1. Raleigh, our male protagonist; 2. Mako, the female protagonist; and 3. Flick, the B-Story. After that, on page 9, comes 'The Catalyst' (Snyder) or 'Call to Adventure' (Vogler): Raleigh has to go to Tokyo and pair up with Mako to defend the city.
In the 'Debate' Section, a question is posed. Not 'Will he do it?', but rather 'Can they do it?' - for  few pages the odd couple goes through a training montage, showing how they come closer and closer and finally can work together. The act break comes with the first Kaiju fight showing the audience the massive scale of the monsters coming out of the Pacific Rim. Exactly following Blake Snyders Beat Sheet the B-Story plays a prominent part now, before going into the 'Fun and Games' part: Raleigh and Mako have to complete a few simulated training missions, before - right in the middle of the script - the stakes are raised and the unlikely heroes have to go on their first real mission.
This quick outline shows how the script follows every step in the screenplay book, although this doesn't guarantee a good movie.

Will 'Pacific Rim' bomb like 'Battleship'?

Outlook: In an age of Mega-Spectacle-Movies like 'Battleship', which bombed at the box-office (with $44 mill domestically in its second week for a €209mill budget) - movies need to offer something more. 'The Avengers' had wits and humour in addition to an stellar cast. Big explosions and splashy effects alone are not enough anymore. So, Guillermo del Toro will have to find a way to set his new effort apart from all the other disaster movies.

Now You See Me - Script Review

The Verdict:
The arrogant Robin-Hood-esque super illusionists playing cat and mouse with the FBI is as thrilling as it is entertaining, unfortunatly the ending can't live up to the expectations and  leaves a bad aftertaste.

What's it about?
FBI agents track a team of illusionists who pull of bank heists during their performances and reward their audiences with the money. (Source: IMDb)

Plot Summary (HEAVY SPOILERS!):
In Las Vegas: Michael Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg), Santayana, London Osborne (Woody Harrelson) and Alex Hero, forming The Four Horsemen, magically 'rob' a bank in france and give out the money to the audience. Also in attendance, Thaddeus Bradley (Morgan Freeman), a notorius exposer of magicians and their tricks. As it turns out, the bank was really robbed and so FBI agent Dylan Hobbes (Mark Ruffalo) - who is divorced, as we quickly learn - teams up with Alma Vargas (Melanie Laurent), a Las Vegas Police Officer. The Four Horsemen plan to do two more shows in ten days (Ticking Time Bomb!), so the officers bring in the four illusionists for interrogation, but of course can't prove anything. Bradley comes into the offices and offers his services, as Atlas was his student (Emotional Angle), but the FBI agents send him off. But as the time runs out and The Four Horseman are about to perform their second show, the agents ask Bradley back (Bringing Together the Storylines). He explains, that the robbery of the french bank was planned weeks in advanced and only through tricks it seemed like it was robbed as they were on the stage.
Cut to New York: a disguised man breaks into the offices of Mr. Tressler, the manager of The Four Horseman. Soon after that, the disguised man enters the backstage area of the second show and is revealed to be Atlas. At the second show, they expose Mr. Tressler (Michael Caine), who is in the audience, as a fraud and then transfer money from his bank account to the account of every person in the hall. The Four Horseman promptly leave for Los Angeles, as the police can't pin anything on them again. It is then, that Bradley suggests, that there must be a Fifth Horseman, secretly working in the background. But as we see, only Atlas knows the identity of this mystery person. Finally doing a little bit of work, Hobbes and Vargas discover that Mr. Kessler had a safety deposit box in the french bank, that was robbed at the first show. They assume that this was the real target and find out that in that box was a blue print of the Federal Reserve Printing House right outside of LA. Shortly before the third, and final show starts, a masked Alex Hero is chased by the police chase after he tried to slip away from the hotel and dies in a horrible crash. But the tree remaining Horseman still want to continue..
The show starts! Hobbes and Vargas stake out the Printing House and soon an unscheduled truck arrives and three man try to get into the building, as it turns out, the three were hypnotised and can't remember anything. Hobbes, Vargas and Bradley rush back to the show, just in time to see Atlas bringing Alex Hero 'back fom the dead'. Then they magically rob the Printing House and again distribute the money amongst the audience, Hobbes and Varga failed!
BEWARE, SPOILERS: When Bradley returns home, he finds all of the money in his basement. Seconds later, the police storm his house and arrest him. He is quickly convicted as the Fifth Horseman, responsible for every crime, although he claim's he's innocent. Then Hobbes visits him in prison and reveals, that he, Hobbes, was in fact the Fifth Horseman and wanted to bring Bradley into prison for revealing the secrets of magicians.

Observations:

The Robin Hood Effect: With their first act, the script establishes The Four Horsemen as modern Robin Hoods, in the time of economic collapse and depression, they rob a 'evil' bank and give the money out to the audience. Instantly, we like this. It shows the universal and time-less appeal of the Robin Hood legend. Adding to the fun is the special relationship between The Four Horsemen and the FBI: Yes, the magicians and illusionists are arrogant and full of themselves, but we want them to win (at the beginng, that is) and the interrogation scene played with this aspect masterfully.

Bumpy Start: The script throws a lot of characters in our direction on the first few pages and most of them only get a cookie cutter backstory. In fact, the whole 'briefing scene' oozes cliche! I know, the script cares more about action and thrill, so three-dimensional characters are not that important, but why then write so utterly over-used scenes (like Hobbes trying to re-connect to his ex-wife and his daughter)?

SPOILERS: Puppet Master: Approximatly in the middle of the script, the idea of the 'Fifth Horseman' is brough up, for one it raises the stakes (because it could be anyone of the team), but when Atlas explains, that the whole planning and project was his idea, it takes away from the team. Their integrity and position is endangered, when they are just following orders.
SPOILERS: About that End: So, Hobbes planned three shows, performed an impossible break-in, just to bring Hobbes into prison. That seems kind of like over-doing it. To be honest, it robs all the shows, the whole Robin-Hood-thingy of it's meaning and turns it into a petty, kindergarden-fight. Oh yeah, did I mention, that Hobbes is a member of a secret society, sworn to protect the secrets of magicians? I am not kidding!

The Project:
This version of the script was written by Boaz Yakin (Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time) and Edward Ricourt. For the final film Josh Applebaum, Andre Nemec (Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol) and Ed Solomon revised the script. (Source: /Film)

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Akira (Remake) - Script Review

Another Remake: Akira

The Verdict:

Condensing and remaking the story only leaves us with a highly visual movie, without an engaging plot or interesting characters to care for.

What's it about?

A young biker gang member gains uncontrollable psychic power and has to be stopped by his friends and the army.

Plot Summary:

Teaser: An explosions shatters Manhatten, in the crater stands a boy. Colonol Shackleton orders to put Subject 28 and the others into cryo-stasis. 

A text informs us, that Manhattan was sold to Japan, as the US hits a deep recession, following the total destruction of New York.

Meet Travis, orphaned, 11, on his first day of school: He gets bullied and befriends Kaneda, 14, who protects him.

10 years later, New Tokyo has risen on Manhatten. We meet the two again at a Bar, they established a biker gang (the Red devils); After a reckless Stunt, injuring his girlfriend Kaori, Travis goes to a 'mobile rehab van' by Vanguard, as he fears he will do drugs again. He has to wear an electronic band, but is promised to stay clean.

Soon after, Travis, while attacking a rival gang member, runs into Thomas, a little boy looking like an old man and is badly hurt. This strange child is escorted by Kay, who is arrested together with Kaneda, while Thomas is brought into a care facility by Shackleton. Kay and Kaneda are released, while Travis is in a hospital, completely healed already. He escapes, before Shackleton, who is informed that Travis' blood contains the mysterious Compound-A, arrives to get him. But later he gets him, when Travis is hidden away by Kaneda and Kay. So the group breaks into the facility to rescue Travis, who slowly discovers his unimaginable powers rips apart the whole facility. Only three other test subjects can stop him, but not kill him. Finally Shackleton finds out, that the 'mobile rehab' project injected Travis with the Compound, in order to restore America to it's old glory, but decides not to do anything about and continues hunting down Travis. 

Travis reaches the Crater, trying to free Akira, aka Subject 28, who was responsible for the first explosion. Kaneda, Kay and Shackleton try everything in their power to stop him, attacking him with tanks, lasers, solar beams, but only hurt Travis. But when he sees his girlfriend getting killed by bullet, meant for him, Travis goes totally insane and explodes. Shackleton, Kaneda and Kay can escape on board a helicopter in the last second and see New Tokyo falling to ashes. 

Final Image: Akira awakens, steps out of his Cyro-Chamber and Travis bows down before him...

Observations:

First off, of all the script I ever read, this was the most exhausting one. Walls of text littered over the pages, describing the action in so many details, it was like reading a novel. 

The visual detail and  ideas were astonishing. Whitta develops an interesting American-Japanese Hybrid-Culture, painting the co-existence of extreme poverty and wealth in grand pictures.

I don't like it, when the story is just happening to the characters, without them ever taking charge or making their own decisions. Unfortunately, it was like this in this script: Travis gets injected with Compound-A, gains uncontrollable power and runs amok. He isn't the active protagonist once throughout the whole script. I feel cheated and - to be honest - bored, when this happens.

The emotional angle was heavily underplayed, in my opinion. The friendship between Travis and Kaneda should come to a fulminant finale, but it fell flat. The script spends too much time with military personnel and the mythology, but forgot the characters at the heart of the story.

Differences to the 1988 Movie:

Names: Tetsuo = Travis; Takashi = Thomas; Kei = Kay; Shikishima = Shackleton; and so on...

The script adds a little bit of background to Akira's first explosion, explaining why New Tokyo is build on americal soil, but adds nothing significant new or exciting to the story.

The most radical change concerns the ending: Planned as the first part of a larger series (possibly a trilogy...) the movie ends shortly after Akira awakens and leaves most plot points hanging.

The Project:

The script is based on the Manga by Katsuhiro Otomo from the year 1982. A hugely popular anime version of that movie was released in 1988. Shortly after that Warner Brothers bought the live-action rights, but nothing happened for the next 20 years. In 2008, Leonardo DiCaprio was set to produce a live-action adaptation with this script. In February 2010 the Hughes Brothers (From Hell) took over the Director's chair, but left it again in May 2011.
The following month Jaume Collet-Serra (of 'Unknown') was announced as the new director, with the hopes to realize this movie with the modest budget of 90 million dollars. (Source: FilmJunk)

The biggest concern of the studio is to find a suitable actor: many stars were offered the role, namely Joseph Gordon-Levitt, James Franco, Zac Efron, Andrew Garfield, James McAvoy or Michael Fassbender, but nobody has signed up so far. Apparently the strongest contender for the role of Kaneda is Garrett Hedlund, the lead of Tron:Legacy. (Source: Movie|Line)

Gary Oldman is in talks to play Colonel Shackleton, while Helena Bonham-Carter is wanted to play Lady Miyako, another test subject and only a small role. (Source: TwitchFilm)

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All You Need Is Kill - Script Review

The Verdict:

The Non-Stop-Action of this Sci-Fi time-loop-movie leaves no room for character development or relationships in favor of huge action scenes, which are entertaining nonetheless.

What's it about?

An unskilled, new recruit dies in his first battle, but awakens one day prior to the battle, myteriously stuck in a temporal loop. He uses these repeats to master the art of killing and tries to win the battle and escape the loop.

Plot Summary [SPOILERS]:

The script starts with Cage jumping out of a burning Dropship into the 'Battle of Ruby Tuesday': Thousands of human soldiers fighting the insectoid Mimic. In this bloody and messy battle we meet Yonaburu, Cage's best friends, Rita, the best fighter in the world (and the female love interest). Cage's first instinct is to desert, which gets Yonaburu and him killed already on page 13. 

Loop 2: Cage re-awakens in the barracks, a day before the fight and can remember all of that happening before. Again, he drops into the Battle of Ruby Tuesday, this time dying, while trying to save Yonaburu.

Loop 3: Cage awakens again. This time he tries to flee, escaping to a near-by beach, where he is found by some scout Mimics and gets killed

Loop 4: Cage is desperate. Trying to break out of this never-ending nightmare, he kills himself.

Loop 5: Cage realises, that there is no way out of this loop. Now he starts questioning the senior offices, gathers information, in order to save some of his friends, but still - he dies.

In a quick training montage, cutting between Cage and his superior office sparring and one Battle of Ruby Tuesday after the other.

Loop 93: The training shows it's impact, Cage survives longer and longer with each try.

Loop 187 & 203: Cage uses his knowledge of all his repeats to get an Battle Axe and with it he can kill the Mimic mother insect, but still dies exactly at 4:19.Cage loses all hope of ever winning the battle or escaping the loop, until Rita asks him: "How many loops is this for you?", shortly before he dies again.

Loop 329: Now the focus of the script shifts shortly, showing us Rita awaking in her bed. Cage finds her and answers her question from the last loop. She explains, that she was stuck in a loop, too. The Mimic have Antenna & Receiver Mimics, which can send signals back in time to warn their fellow mimics, Rita was and Cage is caught up in this signal, so he has to kill it, to be free and win the battle. Cage & Rita kill the Antenna Mimic and all Receivers, but, still, he loops back to the beginning.

Loop 393: Cage & Rita fall in love anew every day, and on the last pages of the script they have something like a relationship in fast-forward. But in this loop the Mimic attack the base, again Cage and Rita kill the Antenna and Receiver Mimic. Then Rita reveals, that she must be another receiver, and kills herself: Cage is finally free and wins the battle.

Script Observations:

Two formal things that bugged me: The script uses many noises, like Shup! Twamp! do describe the action going on. I am not sure, if I like this, but it reads very weird. Aside from that half of the words are CAPITAL, it feels like they are screaming at me. Not pleasant.

Back to the artistic choices, the script presents: The writing is dense and spot-on, as it is always focused on the action.

Something strange happens on page 39: Suddenly we have a Voice Over by the main protagonist, explaining all the background information in a huge dump for 5 pages. After that the Voice Over is used quite regularly, but it seem to appear out of no-where.

Shallow Relationships: Cage is stuck in a battle zone, always fighting and dying. This leaves not much room for a romance, so it feels kinda forced, when he suddenly has a full-on relationship with Rita (10 pages before the end, of all places, just to make us feel sad when she dies 2 pages later.

Generic Alien of the Week: The idea of aliens sending messages back in time to win battles is really neat, but other than that the Mimic are as bland and uninspiring as they come. Their aggressive behaviour, for example, isn't explained or discussed.

The Solution: I really hoped, that the solution to winning the battle and escaping the loop is surprising and refreshing, but, alas, it is fighting harder and killing more Mimic than before. It feels like a wasted chance. Afterall the script is trapped in the same militaristic view as the Ender's Game script I reviewed. The bland enemy reduces the action to routine killings, as we have in ego-shooters, as the reader has no emotional investment in the fights. As such, it feels a lot like the Halo Script, which also had non-stop action without an emotional core.

The Project:

Warner Brothers bought the spec script for a low-seven figure  from Dante Harper (Deadline: Hollywood), shortly after that, Doug Liman was slated to direct the movie for a 2012 release ( Variety). The spec is based on the 2004 novel by Hiroshi Sakurazaka (Wikipedia). 

As the hunt for the lead actor has started, two names have been popping up: First Warner Brothers offered the project to Brad Pitt (Vulture). To be honest I can't see him doing such a mindless popcorn flick, on the other hand is was revealed, that Tom Cruise is in talks to take over the lead (THR). Cage is described as being 20, so both actors would be too old to take over that role, most probably there were changes made to the script to accomodate this.

Warner Brothers wants to get a huge star, as the movie will cost them about 150$ and to get the money back WB wants a big name attached to the posters.

As always, I look forward to hear from you. Post your comments without registrations below!

Have a great day,

- Tristan

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Silver Surfer - Script Review

Post based on the script 'Silver Surfer' by John Turman.

The Verdict:

On-the-nose writing and a far too alien superhero weigh this script down, although it has many good ideas.

What's it about?

Silver Surfer comes to Earth as the herald for the planet-eating alien Galactus. But with human contact, the Silver Surfer learns about compassion, friendship and love, all the while a philandering, alien-sceptic SETI worker and a blind woman have to find a way to stop Galactus.

Observations:

1. The Writing is so 'in your face' sometimes, like this (p. 39):

She looks transcendent in her compassion. Ray's in love, he just doesn't know it yet.

This is the end of the interrogation scene between Ray and Alicia, but instead of showing his beginng love to us, the script just says Ray's in love, which is kind of lazy.

2. The Structure of the movie was really off: The Set-Up and whole first act took ages, it is only on p. 66 that both protagonists define their goal of the movie:

RAY

And save the world?

ALICIA

Why not? Someone's got to.

3.  Two unbalanced main characters: The logline says it all. Silver Surfer comes to Earth and goes on a sight-seeing tour, he is stunned by the human's capability to love and feel and frightened that so many of them choose to be evil. On the other hand are Ray and Alicia, who desperately try to save Silver Surfer from the army (which he can do own his own, by the way) and finally stopping Galactus from eating Earth. But they didn't need the help of the Silver Surfer to stop doom. Ray figured out Galactus' interest in music, it was nothing Silver Surfer learned on Earth, or something Ray from Silver Surfer.
Unfortunately this plays out like an alien invasion script with a silver guy surfing through it.
I understand the problem, Silver Surfer, or Norrin-Rad, is too alien for the typical superhero movie. His backstory doesn't play on Earth, so it is really hard to find a concept that makes him relatable. Regrettably, this script makes him far too removed from the protagonists.

The Project: 
A long list of people where attached to the adaptation of Silver Surfer over the years. Starting with Bernd Eichinger and George Lucas, then Quentin Tarantino. Many screenwriters like Richard Jefferies, Rudy Gaines, John Rice, Andrew Kevin Walker (Se7en, Sleepy Hollow), Don Payne (Thor, Fantastic Four 2), J. Michael Straczynski (Babylon 5) tried their hands at the script over the last two decades, but after the box office failure of Fantastic Four 2 it doesn't seem too likely, that there will ever be a Silver Surfer movie on the silver screen.


As always, I would like to hear your opinions on the topic: Would you like to see a Silver Surfer Sequel? Or rather a reboot/re-imagening? Did you read Turman's script? What is your impression of the writing?
Comment section works without registration, just choose Anonymous and write on!

- Tristan

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Hanna - Script to Movie - Part 2

Welcome back to Part 2 of my ‘Script to Movie’ Feature of Hanna.

In the first post, I analyzed the Black List Script of 2006. In today’s post I will analyze the structure of the movie and afterwards compare that to the script. Like in the first post I will use Black Snyder's Beat Sheet as described in Save the Cat!

First Image:

Hanna hunting a dear in the lonely nature of Sweden. Key dialogue: “I just missed your heart.”

Theme stated:

Min. 6

Eric: “We have all we need right here.”

Hanna: “It’s not enough. I’m ready.”

= Hanna wants more, although the world out there is out to get her

Set-Up:

Scenes in the cabin show us the ‘family life’ of Eric and Hanna. We see pictures of her mother Johanna. Then, next morning, fight training, memorizing information and shooting exercises. This set-up is very short, as we don't need very much information and more will be reveal

Catalyst:

Eric digs up a transmitter and gives Hanna the choice to activate it. Warning her if Marissa Wiegler ever found her, “she won’t stop until Hanna’s dead. Or she is.” = In this short sentence right at the beginning of the movie, the Goal was shown very clearly!

Read further after the break to see the changes made and read my verdict on the final movie!
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Hanna - Script to Movie - Part 1

 

Post based on the script ‘Hanna’ by Seth Lochhead.

Today I’ll be starting a new feature: In a first post I will read a script and analysis just as usual, but I’ll follow that up by a second post comparing the script to the final film. I’ll be writing about the structure (using Blake Synder's Beat Sheet) and discuss the changes made to the story

The Verdict:

I adore the clear and precise language, but the plot falls very flat, because the characters have no motivation or depth at all.

What’s it about:

A teenage girl, trained by her father to be the perfect killing machine, has to travel across Europe in order to make it home again.

First Image:

FADE IN:

EXT. FOREST - SWEDEN -- DAY

[...]

Hanna (14) glides through the trees, a bow strapped to her shoulders. Her camouflage causes her to fade in and out of the background. She floats through the trees as if she were a ghost.

[...]

Set-Up:

After the introduction to Hanna, the script cuts to Marissa, a stone cold secret service agent, who picks up a signal in Sweden and sends some men to capture Eric and Hanna. The next few scenes shows the “normal life” of Hanna: training, hunting, fighting until ---

Catalyst:

-- O'Reilly arrives at their cabin, capturing Eric and Hanna. Both escape from their confinement, but were hold in separate prisons. 


Read Act Two and Three after the break:

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Fahrenheit 451 (Remake) - Script Review

The Verdict: One of the best-written scripts I read, it offers a special-effects heavy update to the timeless classic, while being less subtle than Truffaut's film version.

What’s it about?
In an oppressive future, a fireman whose duty is to destroy all books begins to question his task. (Source: IMDb)

Plot Summary [SPOILERS]:

The first scene introduces us to the Fire Brigade: lead by Montag and Captain Beatty they search a house and soon find books, which is a major crime in this future. Relentlessly they burn the books and the house and arrest the family. 

We follow Montag on his way back home, when he meets Clarisse, the nine-year old neighbors’ girl, they talk and befriend each other. Back at home, Montag finds his wife, Millie passed out from an overdose of levelers. Medics come and resuscitate her, although the next morning she doesn’t remember a thing and doesn’t even want to talk about her apparent suicide attempt. Millie only wants to watch her interactive soap opera.

Back at the station, Captain Beatty tells Montag that soon he will be Captain of the Fire Brigade, before they leave for another emergency. They arrive at an old Victorian house and find thousand of books stashed away in the walls. The owner of the books, an old woman, chooses to die with her books and sets them on fire herself. Montag is shocked by the death of the woman: he can’t understand why would someone choose to die for something illegal? In the aftermath of her death, Montag finds two books and takes them. On his way back home he gets paranoid and gets into trouble with the police, but Clarisse helps him out. He confides in her about the books and gives her one of the books. At home he starts reading, but the next morning his wife finds the book and gets really furious at Montag. As he can’t convince her to keep quiet about it and help him, Montag takes the book back to the Fire Brigade and burn it. But too late! Montag has entered a new world and doesn’t want to leave. He starts stealing books on every deployment and stashes them at home.

One night Montag wakes up and sees Clarisse’s house being burned down. Someone found the book he gave to her. Now, Clarisse and her parents are on the run and of course Montag feels guilty for this. He seeks out Clarisse’s uncle, Faber, who was known for being a rebel a long time ago. With Montag being a Fire Officer, he doesn’t want to talk with Montag, but he forces Faber to take the books he salvaged and stashed away. A fragile bond forms between those two men. Montag has changed, his love for books, changed his way of looking at his job. At the next deployment the crew arrives at Montag’s home: Millie turned him in and now Captain Beatty forces Montag to burn down his own home. Beatty also knows about Faber and in an act of sheer hate, Montag kills Captain Beatty with his flamethrower. 

He can warn Faber to flee before the police arrive and the two men, now most wanted criminals, meet at an old abandoned warehouse. Soon the police have them surrounded and a heavy siege starts, Montag can flee, but Faber dies in the hail of bullets. The police is so desperate to find Montag as fast as possible, because the whole world is watching them via live TV, that they stage his death and kill some random homeless man.

Montag is free! He follows the river, just as Faber told him, and finds a group of people living in the mountains, outcasts just like him. There he find Clarisse and her parents among those people, who memorize books to save them from being destroyed. 

While they travel further away from the city, the city gets nuked and totally destroyed.

Observations:

The Dilemma: What I really liked about the script was the chouice presented to Montag. His future at the Fire Brigade looks really bright, he has a nice home, but still something keeps nagging at him. The decision to take that book and read for the first time, has so much weight, it such a profound moment with consequences Montag couldn't have imagined. But it is his decision to take that book! The characters grows immensely in this moment, because he isn't thrown into the world of the second act, but decides to take that step himself.

The Project:

In 1966 Truffaut filmed a adaptation of the Ray Bradbury novel of the same name.

The plans for a remake started in 1997 with Mel Gibson wanting to produce, star and/or direct the new adaptation/remake. Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt were rumored to play the lead role. In 2001 Frank Darabont revived the project (this his script!) with Tom Hanks in the lead role. In 2008 Hanks left the project and since then nothing new happened. If this will ever get made depends on finding a star for the lead role of Guy Montag. (Source: Wikipedia)

So, as always I encourage you to comment on my post, just choose 'Post as Anonymous', if you don't want to register first. Looking forward to your critism...

Have a nice day,

Tristan

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TOTEM - A Short Script by Tristan Mahlow

Finally I can post one of my own short scripts. I worked on this since February 2011, since I read Freud's TOTEM AND TABOO, which directly inspired me to write this short. I wrote several drafts, now the project is ready for the public. I am looking forward to your comments, please write your critique down below in the comments section.

I proudly present to you:

TOTEM

by TRISTAN MAHLOW

 

FADE IN:

EXT. FOREST - DAY - FOGGY

Wafting, grey fog between grey trees, like all the colours washed out of this bleak world.

A wolf's cry cuts through the errie silence.

UlARU, 16, emerges out of the grey mass. He only wears a loin cloth, revealing his scrawny body. On his back he wears a reed basket. Ularu is looking for something --

-- and suddenly his eyes grow very big: Far up in a tree: A SHINING RED APPLE! 

Ularu grabs the lowest branch and begins his climb. He pants and sweats when he reaches the apple. The boy picks the shiny apple like the most wonderful treasure and puts it in his basket.

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EXT. THE VILLAGE - DAY - FOGGY

Ularu runs back to his village, the few tents flocked together on a meadow, still glowing from his find. 

More tribesmen, young and old - and all of them as scrawny as Ularu - have returned with baskets and are now emptying them in front of the biggest tent. 

Their baskets are nearly empty and only a few roots and nuts come out of them. 

Ularu takes a look into his basket. It is still there: the apple glows in the dark of his basket. 

Ularu sighs and then comes to a decision: He takes out the apple and dissappears behind one of the tents, leaving behind his basket.

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EXT. A POND IN THE FOREST - DAY - FOGGY

The red apple pressed close to his body, Ularu runs to ALKINA, the most beautiful girl of his village. 16 and very innocent, she sits in front of a pond, washing clothes.

She jumps up, when Ularu reaches her. They both stare at each other for a moment: Alkina unsure what he wants, Ularu unsure what to do. 

Without a word and in a very sudden movement Ularu extends his arm. Alkina is startled and steps back. Then Ularu opens his hand and shows her the marvellous fruit. Her eyes open with amazment, she can not believe it! 

She reaches out to take it --

-- and a bony, wrinkled hand grabs the wrist of Ularu and the apple falls into the pond. 

KONOL, the old shaman of the village towers over Ularu. In his gaze burns anger. Without letting go of Ularu's wrist Konol fishes for the fruit. 

He catches the apple and then examines it for a little while. Konol turns, and draging Ularu along, the shaman returns to the center of the village.

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EXT. THE VILLAGE - DAY - FOGGY

Konol stops in the middle of the huts. He carefully places the apple down on the ground and starts rocking forth and back. The villagers gather around, wondering and staring at the old shaman.

The sage starts humming, getting louder and louder, chanting, breathing heavily, until --

-- THE GROUND RIPS OPEN, swallowing the apple. Ularu screams: his apple! Lost! 

A low rumble starts beneath the crowd of people, they look terrified. 

-- a tree grows, where the apple was: more like a full grown tree being pushed out of the ground. The tree is in full blossom and illuminates everything around it. The native people stare at the wonder happening in front of them. 

-- out of the massive trunk a figure appears: the TOTEM. A muscular men; his face has the astute traits of a wolf and his sheer strength radiates around him.

The tribesmen take a step back out of respect, some even bow down. With one movement of the Totem's hand, the fog disappears, with a wave of the other hand the dead forest, sourrounding the village, returns back to life, bearing food in abundance. 

Ularu looks at his own hands: why doesn't he have such powers?

His eyes, now mere slits, look at the Totem with envy and anger. The Totem looks at the crowd before him, then singles out Ularu. Both share an intense look.

The Totem raises his hand once again and --

-- points at Ularu!

The whole village turns and looks at the shocked boy. The Totem moves his hands: "Follow me!" and disappears into the forest.

The boy regains his composure and follows him --

-- Ularu doesn't see the worried eyes of Alkina behind his back.

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EXT. FOREST - DAY

The Totem wanders through the forest. Under his step, plants grow, blossom and die again. Ularu always behind him.

The Totem stops and turns around: he looks at Ularu. There is anger in his face. Before the Totem can do anything, Ularu jumps at him.

THEY FIGHT!

Ularu fights with a desperate strength, while the muscular and build Totem moves elegantly, avoiding Ularu's attacks.

Only the BLOODLUST in Ularu's eyes frighten the TOTEM and when the scrawny boy manages to put his meager hands around the throat of the Totem --

-- the demi-god resign. He just stops, looking at the rising moon above him. He could kill Ularu in an instant, but choose not to do so. The Totem's eyes are turned to sky, expecting something and Ularu presses harder and harder until the Totem falls to the ground --

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EXT. THE VILLAGE - SUNSET

-- The shaman, sits inbetween the villagers under their new shining tree. Suddenly: the TREE BURSTS INTO FLAMES. Ashes rain down on the people and Konol screams on the top of his lungs --

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EXT. FOREST - SUNSET

-- Ularu cowers over the corpse of the Totem, his mouth is covered in blood. There is a deep wound in the chest of Totem where is heart used to be. 

Then the TRANSFORMATION begins: Ularu grows bigger, muscles grow everywhere and his face adopts the traits of a wolf. He is not the scrawny kid anymore, now he has a frightening presence and his eyes radiate hate and determination. 

The new Totem runs off into the deep forest. The distant cry of a wolf can be heard under the bloodred moon.

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EXT. A POND IN THE FOREST - SUNRISE

Alkina goes to the pond, morning mist around her feet. She sits down (where she once sat with a boy named Ularu) and stares down into the water. She freezes: --

-- is there a face in the water? With her face closer to the surface she can see: the new Totem! 

Alkina jumps back in fear. Just below the water surface Ularus' face looks back at her, his eyes glimmer. He stretches out his hand (lacking the apple this time) and offers it to Alkina. She hesitates, then --

-- extends her arm, too. The two hands meet on the still water surface and behind Alkina the whole forest goes up in flames. Red, glimmering ash fills the air, as Ularu pulls down Alkina into his darkness.

FADE TO BLACK