Finally I can post one of my own short scripts. I worked on this since February 2011, since I read Freud's TOTEM AND TABOO, which directly inspired me to write this short. I wrote several drafts, now the project is ready for the public. I am looking forward to your comments, please write your critique down below in the comments section.
I proudly present to you:
TOTEM
by TRISTAN MAHLOW
FADE IN:
EXT. FOREST - DAY - FOGGY
Wafting, grey fog between grey trees, like all the colours washed out of this bleak world.
A wolf's cry cuts through the errie silence.
UlARU, 16, emerges out of the grey mass. He only wears a loin cloth, revealing his scrawny body. On his back he wears a reed basket. Ularu is looking for something --
-- and suddenly his eyes grow very big: Far up in a tree: A SHINING RED APPLE!
Ularu grabs the lowest branch and begins his climb. He pants and sweats when he reaches the apple. The boy picks the shiny apple like the most wonderful treasure and puts it in his basket.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE VILLAGE - DAY - FOGGY
Ularu runs back to his village, the few tents flocked together on a meadow, still glowing from his find.
More tribesmen, young and old - and all of them as scrawny as Ularu - have returned with baskets and are now emptying them in front of the biggest tent.
Their baskets are nearly empty and only a few roots and nuts come out of them.
Ularu takes a look into his basket. It is still there: the apple glows in the dark of his basket.
Ularu sighs and then comes to a decision: He takes out the apple and dissappears behind one of the tents, leaving behind his basket.
CUT TO:
EXT. A POND IN THE FOREST - DAY - FOGGY
The red apple pressed close to his body, Ularu runs to ALKINA, the most beautiful girl of his village. 16 and very innocent, she sits in front of a pond, washing clothes.
She jumps up, when Ularu reaches her. They both stare at each other for a moment: Alkina unsure what he wants, Ularu unsure what to do.
Without a word and in a very sudden movement Ularu extends his arm. Alkina is startled and steps back. Then Ularu opens his hand and shows her the marvellous fruit. Her eyes open with amazment, she can not believe it!
She reaches out to take it --
-- and a bony, wrinkled hand grabs the wrist of Ularu and the apple falls into the pond.
KONOL, the old shaman of the village towers over Ularu. In his gaze burns anger. Without letting go of Ularu's wrist Konol fishes for the fruit.
He catches the apple and then examines it for a little while. Konol turns, and draging Ularu along, the shaman returns to the center of the village.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE VILLAGE - DAY - FOGGY
Konol stops in the middle of the huts. He carefully places the apple down on the ground and starts rocking forth and back. The villagers gather around, wondering and staring at the old shaman.
The sage starts humming, getting louder and louder, chanting, breathing heavily, until --
-- THE GROUND RIPS OPEN, swallowing the apple. Ularu screams: his apple! Lost!
A low rumble starts beneath the crowd of people, they look terrified.
-- a tree grows, where the apple was: more like a full grown tree being pushed out of the ground. The tree is in full blossom and illuminates everything around it. The native people stare at the wonder happening in front of them.
-- out of the massive trunk a figure appears: the TOTEM. A muscular men; his face has the astute traits of a wolf and his sheer strength radiates around him.
The tribesmen take a step back out of respect, some even bow down. With one movement of the Totem's hand, the fog disappears, with a wave of the other hand the dead forest, sourrounding the village, returns back to life, bearing food in abundance.
Ularu looks at his own hands: why doesn't he have such powers?
His eyes, now mere slits, look at the Totem with envy and anger. The Totem looks at the crowd before him, then singles out Ularu. Both share an intense look.
The Totem raises his hand once again and --
-- points at Ularu!
The whole village turns and looks at the shocked boy. The Totem moves his hands: "Follow me!" and disappears into the forest.
The boy regains his composure and follows him --
-- Ularu doesn't see the worried eyes of Alkina behind his back.
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST - DAY
The Totem wanders through the forest. Under his step, plants grow, blossom and die again. Ularu always behind him.
The Totem stops and turns around: he looks at Ularu. There is anger in his face. Before the Totem can do anything, Ularu jumps at him.
THEY FIGHT!
Ularu fights with a desperate strength, while the muscular and build Totem moves elegantly, avoiding Ularu's attacks.
Only the BLOODLUST in Ularu's eyes frighten the TOTEM and when the scrawny boy manages to put his meager hands around the throat of the Totem --
-- the demi-god resign. He just stops, looking at the rising moon above him. He could kill Ularu in an instant, but choose not to do so. The Totem's eyes are turned to sky, expecting something and Ularu presses harder and harder until the Totem falls to the ground --
CUT TO:
EXT. THE VILLAGE - SUNSET
-- The shaman, sits inbetween the villagers under their new shining tree. Suddenly: the TREE BURSTS INTO FLAMES. Ashes rain down on the people and Konol screams on the top of his lungs --
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST - SUNSET
-- Ularu cowers over the corpse of the Totem, his mouth is covered in blood. There is a deep wound in the chest of Totem where is heart used to be.
Then the TRANSFORMATION begins: Ularu grows bigger, muscles grow everywhere and his face adopts the traits of a wolf. He is not the scrawny kid anymore, now he has a frightening presence and his eyes radiate hate and determination.
The new Totem runs off into the deep forest. The distant cry of a wolf can be heard under the bloodred moon.
CUT TO:
EXT. A POND IN THE FOREST - SUNRISE
Alkina goes to the pond, morning mist around her feet. She sits down (where she once sat with a boy named Ularu) and stares down into the water. She freezes: --
-- is there a face in the water? With her face closer to the surface she can see: the new Totem!
Alkina jumps back in fear. Just below the water surface Ularus' face looks back at her, his eyes glimmer. He stretches out his hand (lacking the apple this time) and offers it to Alkina. She hesitates, then --
-- extends her arm, too. The two hands meet on the still water surface and behind Alkina the whole forest goes up in flames. Red, glimmering ash fills the air, as Ularu pulls down Alkina into his darkness.
FADE TO BLACK
I like it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, kind stranger!
Delete